WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
