this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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