Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
