I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
