he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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