even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
