I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
