and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
