Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Randomize
