I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize