there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
