so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
