Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I lost the right to judge tonight
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
