dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
