1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
