at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
