Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize