quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Sacagawea was the original milf.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
