but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
