I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
