I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
