If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
We just shotgunned beers for America
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
