she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize