It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
