Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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