it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize