THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Randomize
