i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize