careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize