I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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