that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
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