turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
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