Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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