youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Randomize
