I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
