i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I want to be your penis for a week.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Randomize
