so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
