Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
