when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
