woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
