I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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