Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
