i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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