i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
