There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
