Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I deserve this hangover.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
