so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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