Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
