Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
high people should be assigned attendants
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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