Christians are straight up FREAKS
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
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