I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
