There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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