The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
So apparently I’m into choking now
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
