I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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