Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
