I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Randomize