could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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