Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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