it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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