I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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