i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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