I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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