I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
