So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
