the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
try to milk me bitch
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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