yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
